On Wednesday night, seven misfits will take the stage, seven Republicans all salivating, hoping to see their wishes come true. And the wish that all these people share is the hope that they will be the ones who will break out of the pack and snare the hearts and minds of Republican cultists.
Seven people made the cut. Let’s look at these seven and what their strengths and weaknesses are.
Tim Scott. Scott has done a fine job ignoring reporters and refusing to answer any question with a direct answer.
His usually — before he decided to run — somewhat merry personality has been replaced by a seeming bland and submissive Trump puppy who does not seem to have any clear thoughts on anything, as his rambling answer to the question of abortion told us.
Vivek. The used car salesman has shown he’s a bit too green for prime-time, so his only way of staying at all relevant would be to butter up Donald Trump. I predict on Wednesday night at 9:00 PM on Fox Business Channel, we shall behold this buttering.
It will be a smooth and slathery buttering, drenched buttery Trump kernels running down his chin as Vivek swoops in the buttering like never seen before, as he attempts to snow Maga into thinking it is he and only he who truly loves Donald Trump.
Haley. Haley has proven herself a good liar, but can she keep it up? Haley usually finds a way to screw up any good luck she is having. I do not predict anything different on Wednesday.
Christie. Christie really disappointed me last time. He is going to, of course, go after SOMEONE. Whoever might it be? Vivek? DeSantis? Christie is at his best when he’s destroying other candidates, so here’s hoping we see a bit of the Chris bulldog on Wednesday.
Speaking of Ron DeSantis……
The charmless “Governor” with a voice only an insurrectionist could love, has done WONDERFULLY proving everything Palmer Report ever said about him is true.
Thanks for that, Ronnie. Look for Ron to get even more nasty than usual at the debate. This is because he seems to equate losing with “I’m not being crazy and irritating enough.”
Doug Burgum. Who? Seriously, most people have no idea who the North Dakota Republican is.
He (somehow) made the debate stage, showing there are, somewhere, at least one or two people who have heard of him.
Pence. I’ve no idea what Pence will do, but if things go according to my dream, he’ll jump up and declare he’s for a one week abortion ban, and all other Republicans must be as well. That would take the cake and IS something that Pence would do because he has about as much understanding of the American people as he does his own spine, which means not much.
So this is the sparking array of contenders we have! But here’s the thing. I joke about this. But at the end of the day, somewhere and somehow, SOMEONE will be their nominee. Will it be someone on that stage? We do not know yet but anything’s possible. Anything at all.