The doofus with the golden gun

Sign up for the Palmer Report mailing list
Help keep Palmer Report firing on all cylinders in 2024:

Many people remember the Nancy Drew books. I read every single one as a kid. These books usually had titles starting with: “The mystery of:” For example: “The mystery of the tapping heels.” “The mystery of the ivory charm.” You get the picture.

I can think of a mystery Nancy Drew might have wanted to take on. The mystery of the Golden Glock. DID Donald Trump buy a gun? That is today’s question. How could he resist a flamboyant-looking, flashy gold Glock with his image on it?

It is illegal for him to buy guns, but rules and Donald Trump do not mix. The theory — whether or not a gun was purchased — changes hourly. It is THE mystery of the day — the mystery of the golden gun.

Did he just WANT the gun but made no effort to buy it? Or did Trump just violate the conditions of his bail? How fitting such a story would be if true! Not only would it make a great mystery, but it would have a tremendous mythological kind of irony.

Picture it. The man — the man brought down by his own weakness — the weakness of his own image gazing up at him from a Glock — a Glock that must have made the old man’s mouth water, his spine tingle at the thought – the very delicious thought — of being the proud owner of such a Glock.

And yes that would undo the little man (by “little” I refer to his brain.) It would undo him because, of course, such a move — snatching at the golden object — would be a violation of his bail. So, the man would have quite a choice to make. Which option do you think he’d choose?

Would he choose to walk away, valuing his freedom, knowing that the golden Glock is, after all, just an object — a single silly object that could, were the man to scoop up, begin its metamorphosis into a glittering piece of irony for the old man who would be felled by his own vanity?

Many people have been felled from far less than a golden glock. Did he or didn’t he? Would he or wouldn’t he? His people said no, the man would never! They even put out a statement with strong denials issued.

But what about the man who seems to be promoting that he DID buy a gun? He is doing this on truth social. What is the real truth about the man with the golden Glock? What was the true nature of the visit? And did he give into the primal urge to make the Glock his? This, indeed, is a mystery to ponder. And we have yet to find the answer. Stay tuned.

Sign up for the Palmer Report mailing list
Help keep Palmer Report firing on all cylinders in 2024