Robert Mueller is making Donald Trump’s head explode


You can see it, if you look closely enough. Donald Trump’s behavior, already long maniacal and inhuman, has taken on an even stranger shift over the past ten days. His staff now has to write down basic phrases on a card for him to say. He’s making fun of his hair for the first time in his life. This is a new level of cartoonishly frenetic behavior, and there’s a reason for it. Like an animal who knows deadly prey is just over his shoulder, Trump’s head is exploding as Robert Mueller makes one surprise stab at him after another.

In fairness to Trump, your head would be exploding too if a prosecutor were this deep in the process of dismantling your life of crime in such through fashion that people close to you were getting charged with crimes you’ve never heard of, and people you’ve never heard of were getting charged with crimes simply because of you. We still don’t quite know who Alex van der Zwaan is, or why Mueller made him plead guilty to something or other this week, beyond the fact that he has some tangential connection to the Trump-Russia scandal. Trump sure as hell has no idea who the guy is. Then there’s the close to home stuff.

How many different new criminal charges has Mueller filed against Trump’s former campaign chairman and current real estate tenant Paul Manafort in the past week? Sixteen? Eight thousand? Nine gazillion? It doesn’t matter, because by the time you finish reading this sentence, Mueller will have brought even more charges against Manafort. Mueller is so stone cold, he brought a bunch more criminal charges against former Trump campaign vice chairman Rick Gates the day after he agreed to plead guilty, just in case.

At this point Robert Mueller is going to bust Donald Trump’s uncle’s cousin’s ex-wife’s former roommate for removing the tags from his mattresses, just to make Trump squirm. Trump no longer appears to fully understand what’s happening in his daily life, so there’s no way he can possibly grasp the totality of what Mueller is doing to him – but that’s the point. Trump understands that he’s Screwed with a capital S. It’s why he can’t even speak anymore. At this point his head might literally explode from the pressure.

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