Are you a multi-millionaire or (better yet) a billionaire? Can you fog a mirror? Well if that’s you then the Republican Party just might have a job for you! You too can become a Republican member of Congress for the low, low price of a measly few million dollars. Waltz into your local Republican recruiting office and apply today!
Thus might read (if they’re being what they never are: honest) a Republican Party recruitment poster. That’s right, for 2024 the Republican Party is looking for candidates, and the only qualification they require is filthy lucre — and lots of it.
The Republican Party is looking for candidates who can completely self-finance their candidacies for 2024 so the Republicans don’t have to. No other qualification is needed.
The Republican Party has always been the party with all the money, of course. Rich corporations are always ready to fund them for obvious reasons. So why does the Republican Party feel the need to field self-funding candidates when they already have so much money anyway?
It’s a symptom that betrays their underlying desperation. The Republican Party is losing ground and they know it. Unpopular moves from everything like the revocation of Roe v. Wade to the recent attempt by the Tennessee legislature to remove three of its Democratic members to the callous attendance of major Republicans at the latest NRA annual meeting in the shadow of local mass murders has deeply damaged the party’s image.
Republican bosses have a choice. They can either start representing America’s best interests and stop catering to the wealthy, or they can raise even more money for their fight to control the soul of the nation in 2024. They made the bad choice, of course, because they always do.
Fielding candidates who have absolutely no qualifications is nothing new for Republicans. After all, their past successful candidates include everyone from Donald Trump to Lauren Boebert to Marjorie Taylor Greene to the laughable imposter George Santos. What if candidates can be both absurd and (unlike Donald Trump) real multimillionaires or billionaires willing to fund their own candidacies?
This is a mistake that we must not interrupt. Once Republicans have fielded their wealthy mirror foggers, Democrats must go on the offensive and expose them as part of a nationwide pattern. Republicans plan to hoodwink the American people with their phoney candidates recruited expressly because of the money they can spend to get themselves elected. Republicans want even more friends of the wealthy one percent in power in Washington and we must expose them for it.
Once these scum have been linked together they will be forever identified as what they really are: latter day carpetbaggers. This could very well be the biggest mistake Republicans have ever made, and it very well could turn the coming 2024 Blue Wave into a tsunami. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.