Mike Johnson’s behavior grows bizarre as Republican House slips away from him

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The story I’m about to tell you happened over the weekend. It is called Buyer’s remorse. All they wanted was encouragement. They were weak people, torn apart at the seams. They had already lost ONE House Speaker, Kevin McCarthy. Their Caucus had disintegrated into a shambles.

So they looked toward his replacement, Mike Johnson, to right the ship, hold it steady and steer them towards the island, where sanity and rest awaited them. Alas, the ship took a detour — toward insanity and chaos.

It all started at the Republican leadership retreat. Many tired and morose House GOPers attended. What is the purpose of the secluded meeting? Plans sketching out how to hold the House in November.

At least — that is what it was SUPPOSED to be about. Alas! It was not to be. What was waiting for them at this retreat instead was a religious service — conducted by House leader Mike Johnson himself. Let us pray.

“I’m not at church!” These words came from one anonymous outraged Republican. They may not have been at church, but that did not stop Johnson from opening his arms wide to let in the prayer — his answer to winning in November!

“Horrible.” This is from another ANONYMOUS House rep. Gee, these folks really love their anonymity, don’t they? So yes, a sermon took place with Johnson at the helm, railing fiery rhetoric against people who do not let God into their lives and leveling insults at the Government.

Why so grim, Republicans? You should be used to this! After all, these are the words you say to grieving family members whose children are lost to gun violence. Thoughts and prayers, republicans, right? Right? That’s all you need, right?

Not — when it comes to them, apparently. The prayer session went on and on, reportedly taking up to a full third of the meeting. I wonder: did they stop to eat?

One anonymous Republican (this is getting to be familiar) said he thought Johnson was trying to bring them all together, but it backfired.

I’ll say! Can one imagine a weekend retreat where one is forced to hear Mike Johnson rail against the government? I can’t think of a more unappetizing activity. Can you? And it went on and on and on…

Republican House members had been eagerly awaiting this retreat, reportedly hoping to come away with some winning strategy.

What they came away with instead is — thoughts and prayers. It’s rather fitting. It’s as if fate and karma got together and decided to play one heck of a joke on House Republicans. So Republicans left this retreat angry at Johnson. There is no winning strategy on hand, and no guidance. Don’t you just LOVE seeing Republicans get what they deserve?

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