Is this the news we’ve been waiting for?

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I realize how much what I’m about to tell you, brothers and sisters, sounds like idle gossip, but sometimes that’s where real leaks come from. So here it is: according to “The View” host Sunny Hostin, one of her sources inside the Justice Department said that an indictment is coming down, it’s coming for Donald Trump and it’s coming sometime in the next 30 to 90 days.

Let’s put that in subjective terms, shall we? That is, sometime between ten days before Christmas and Valentine’s Day, somewhere between 3 and 9 Scaramuccis from now, Donald J. Trump v. The People of the United States of America will become official. Donald Trump will be criminally indicted by the very same government he used to be in charge of.

I know it’s only symbolic but I’m kind of partial to Valentine’s Day. I would then think of it as the St. Valentine’s Day massacre 2.0. I like the fact that it’s, symbolically, a bad news day for punks and mobsters. Or maybe it should be Groundhog Day so we can, metaphorically speaking, enjoy it over and over and over again. Or New Year’s Day would be nice, symbolising a new beginning. Christmas Day would be awfully nice too. I know there would be a lot of screaming in MAGAland about that, but that’s okay with me.

All I know is, when it comes, I plan to enjoy it. I’m gonna have me a little schadenfreude party inside my head. I plan to spend the whole day smiling. I feel like an abused child or the victim of a bully that knows in advance that his abuser or his bully is about to get a giant whipping.

Of course, if all this is true we all need to manage our expectations. It won’t mean that Trump will immediately go to prison. There’s Due Process to think about too. If he’s indicted he will need to be arraigned, a trial date — unquestionably billed as the Trial of the Century if not the Trial of the Millennium — will be set. That date will probably be sometime far into 2023, possibly the end. The trial itself could take anywhere from 9 to 18 months for it to play out. It might even be televised, and become one of the greatest entertainment spectacles in world history.

The trial will almost certainly slop over into the 2024 presidential election. It will be interesting to see how that plays out. Will Trump become, by then, so toxically unpopular that he will be a burden on the Republican Party? Or will he remain popular with his poisonous base, so much so that he divides the party and the Democrats will sweep the presidential election as well as the race for the House and the Senate? I don’t see any way that the whole thing won’t be good for us.

Whatever happens, brothers and sisters, we truly live in interesting times. One thing I do know: Trump’s candidacy will not serve as some kind of criminal prophylactic. He may fool himself, but declaring himself a candidate for the presidency will not save him from an indictment. It will just prove to be one more contest for Trump, and like most contests he’s fought in his miserable life, it’s just another one he’s going to lose. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

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