Interview with a vampire

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There’s a werewolf on the loose in Georgia! Georgians are encouraged to exercise caution when coming into contact with this werewolf. Oh, he won’t hurt you. But has the potential to embarrass the crap out of you since this werewolf is running to be your next Senator.

Herschel Walker has apparently tired of his life as a police officer. Because now he is expressing his desire to be someone new — a werewolf. And apparently, Walker has been something else for quite some time — a vampire. Who knew? No, this is not the set of the “Twilight” movie. This is our ole friend Herschel Walker speaking with literary eloquence about his deepest desires, his dark dreams, and his hopes for the future.

“I don’t want to be a vampire anymore,” he exclaimed. “I want to be a werewolf.” Walker was speaking in McDonough, Georgia when he brought up a movie called “Fright night, Freak night, or some type of night.”

“I don’t know if you know, but vampires are some cool people, are they not?” Oh God.

“But let me tell you something that I found out: a werewolf can kill a vampire. Did you know that?” the vampire/werewolf asked, grinning happily.

“I never knew that. ”

“I don’t want to be a vampire anymore. I want to be a werewolf.”

So is Walker telling us that he’s a mutant? Is this genuinely Fright night come to life? Does he have fangs? And what of his past life as a vampire? Has he ever partied with Dracula? After all, it sounds like he may have been a vampire for quite a long time.

In all seriousness — Herschel Walker is insane. And beautiful Georgia — if he wins, he will be the laughingstock of the Senate and he’ll take you down with him.

So please vote — against the vampire/werewolf or whatever he’s calling himself today. Vote for wonderful and sane Senator Warnock who, I can promise you, is human and will do everything he can to keep Georgia beautiful.

Personal note from Bill Palmer: if each of you reading this can kick in $10 or $25, it'll help keep Palmer Report firing on all cylinders at this crucial time in our nation's history: Contribute now
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