It is not often, in this industry, that I come upon a story that is guaranteed to send waves of delight through the readers. It is not often that a story so delicious comes to our attention. I know many will break out into trills of sunny laughter and perhaps even read the story for a second time. This is such a story, and it is my pleasure to be the storyteller.
By now, most people know that the Kansas City Chiefs won the Sunday night Super Bowl They played a remarkable game with an amazing comeback. Although many on the Republican side did not watch, it was an exciting game. Why did some Republicans not watch?
Well — we have written of the conspiracy theories some in the MAGA world have. THE GAME IS RIGGED!!! BY THE DEEP STATE!
Everyone – Taylor Swift, Joe Biden, and dear readers US TOO – are working together in secret. It’s a society of wokeness. We all CONSPIRED AND MADE THE WIN HAPPEN. What sad little fools these people are.
Now, President Biden has heard these theories, too. Of course, he has. So, after the game, what do you think President Biden did? He turned before our eyes into our beloved Dark Brandon.
Dark Brandon rose in all his glory, an onyx statue, a glorious hero, to comment on this wonderful game. — and perhaps have a bit of fun with Maga.
“Just like we drew it up,” Dark Brandon wrote about the game.
An image of Dark Brandon with glowing red eyes was also tweeted. Dark Brandon broke the internet. I cannot tell you how many people responded. But it is a lot.
“More, please!” People were so happy and delighted to see the man, the myth and the legend, the dark Brandon. At least SOME were.
Maga, of course, became unhinged. “That’s scary!!!!!!” Yes, Maga called Dark Brandon a devil. But the comments came from some Magats who appeared to BELIEVE Dark Brandon was serious, proving that on top of everything else, Maga has no sense of humor either.
Some Maga said that it “was not appropriate” of Dark Brandon to post that , that it destroyed the dignity of the presidential office. DESTROY THE DIGNITY? Have they looked at the p###y grabbing, orange, traitorous, thieving, greasy sack of human carnage they’re supporting?
Destroys the dignity of — are you laughing yet? Is the laughter bubbling up, flowing freely as we all laugh together and grin with admiration at the force for good that is Dark Brandon?
Oh, by the way. You will see Dark Brandon again soon. He just joined TikTok! We will see much more of him.
Even, now as I write these words, miserable Maggats continue to appear to think Dark Brandon was serious.
“He admitted it! He rigged the Superbowl,” claimed one young Maga Einstein. So yes, dark Brandon is Back. Dark Brandon is here to stay with his shining smile, intense gravitas, and mischievous ways and has already made an enormous splash.