Throw the book at them

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It appears some members of the GOP are attempting to join the pool of children’s authors! That’s right. Republicans are writing books for kids!! And some are reading them aloud. How wonderful! What could these utterly darling books possibly be about? I envision forests filled with flowers, creeks, rivers, and fun little animals. I expect the stuff of fairy tales. Not quite.

In Washington at the Cleveland Park Library, an event occurred just a few weeks ago. Several Republican pundits were there to read their new books aloud to children and hear their thoughts! What fun. Jack Posobiec was there. Do you know him? He’s an alt-right quack, seen frequently on Twitter. And his book featured Antifa wolves.

Then there was Chaya Raichik, creator of the vile group “Libs of TikTok.” Her book focused on a lamb whose teacher wants to indoctrinate the lamb. Such creativity! And Sean Spicer was there! The owner of the words “biggest crowd ever” had a new book out called “The parrots go bananas.”

Sigh. They never learn, do they? The plot of this book involves a game of “smash ball.” There is a huge cast of animals — anthropomorphic animals. Some of the animals attempt to cheat. Other animals get outraged and become an angry mob, chasing the cheaters.

The animals chase the other animals to a cliff with a long drop-down. “They are dying,” a child called out, upset at the thought of the animals plunging to their deaths below. “Well,” replied Spicer. That’s possible.” No, readers, this is not a joke. This really happened. I’m so sorry.

SPOILER ALERT! Does anyone really care? Luckily the book has a good ending! Nobody dies. Reports are the kids were fidgety, upset, and hungry. And weirded out. Who could blame them? I think the moral of this story is: the GOP failed at book writing the way they fail at everything. But maybe they will blame it all on Antifa.

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