This is Donald Trump’s dumbest idea yet

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Donald Trump is still talking about taking the stand. And he’s decided to do it! Or at least that’s what he told High Hewitt it in a radio interview this week.He was referring to the federal case about classified documents.

Imagine the questions that might be asked! Let’s do a little Q&A. Mr. Trump. Why didn’t you give the classified documents back?

“Because I don’t have to. I can do whatever I want with them. I’m the president of United States! Those documents are mine, and by the way, after this trial, I want them returned to me immediately. This is, this is a witch-hunt, a witch-hunt, and I don’t know where those documents are now, they’re not with me, I mean that’s a crime they stole my classified documents.”

Mr. Trump. Are you aware that stealing classified documents is a crime?

“Yes, yes I am and that’s why you should go after sleepy Joe. I mean he’s just like, look he had them. He had the documents in Chinatown! Thousands and thousands of documents were stolen by sleepy Joe. I mean why isn’t he under arrest? When I get back to being president I’ll make sure he’s under arrest, he stole the documents, I mean he took them, that’s a crime and everyone knows it which is why I’m way ahead in the polls way, way way ahead.

Mr. Trump. When you took the documents…

“Hold on hold on! I didn’t take anything, those were mine you can’t take something that’s yours.

I mean it’s mine right? So it belongs to me your favorite president and they stole the election day.

They took something that wasn’t theirs. It’s all, I mean it’s all, you can see the evidence. I won the race by millions, it’s a very bad thing what they did to me and now they’re talking about documents that are mine to do whatever I want with, because I’m the president. Presidents are special, but why did Biden take documents and Pence? Maybe Mike Pence was in on it? He took some documents and he shouldn’t have. Pence is a very bad man who didn’t tell the truth that day, you should’ve told the truth, your favorite president would never have been arrested if he had but he didn’t.”

It is a pleasure to channel Donald Trump sometimes. But the point is if Trump really is determined to take the stand, there is little that can be done about it. You know he never ever listens to his attorneys. It’s just never happens.

And if he does take the stand, it probably will sound a lot like what I wrote above. That is because Donald Trump is incapable of not incriminating himself. Morning in America? Trump incriminates himself Nighttime? Trump will incriminate himself. I certainly hope that he takes the stand.

And as the audience grabs the popcorn to watch with amusement (and much disgust), it would be awesome to see Donald Trump screw up yet again. That’s the one thing he seems to truly excel at — screwing up.

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