Turns out Rick Perry is even dumber than we thought

For a brief moment last week, it looked like Rick “Oops” Perry had finally done something smart. He announced he was going to cooperate with the House impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump’s Ukraine scandal, and then the news broke that he was planning to resign. Perry seemed to be on his way to earning immunity from future prosecution by cutting his losses and spilling his guts about the bigger fish.

Then over the weekend, a series of unfortunate events played out for Rick Perry. Donald Trump claimed that it was Perry who convinced him to extort Ukraine. Then the AP reported that Perry was part of a Trump-Giuliani plot to extort a Ukraine gas company into doing them personal favors. It turned out Perry was in really deep after all – but still, he could probably avoid prison if he simply cooperated with the House impeachment probe.

But last night, Rick Perry announced that he’s not resigning after all. This suggests that he’s changed his mind and decided to remain on Team Trump, in the feeble hope that Trump will end up pardoning him. That’s hilarious, considering Trump is already publicly throwing Perry under the bus, and will certainly let him rot in the end.

All Donald Trump had to do to scare Rick Perry into staying loyal to him was to publicly accuse him of having been the mastermind behind the Ukraine scandal. No one was going to believe that accusation anyway, because everyone knows Perry is a dummy. But if Perry really is sticking with Team Trump instead of trying to save his own hide, then Perry is even dumber than we thought.

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