Republican House drifts even further out to sea

Predictions should always be made with careful and scrupulous thought. Predictions are like waves — some crest perfectly to shore while others become ripples that vanish — sort of like the Republican prediction of a “red wave that so many idiots predicted so heartily.

But my prediction is unique in that we will know very shortly whether it comes true! Here it is: We ain’t seen nothing yet. That’s right. I predict that the House Speaker disaster will only get MORE disasters, more insane, and more hands-over-eyes hard to watch.

That is because all the signs of the GOP Tsunami are there. We start with who’s running for speaker. That number keeps growing and growing and growing, like a gigantic sea monster and shows no signs of stopping.

Perhaps the whole House caucus will decide to run. I say that kiddingly (sort of). But the fact remains the more people who throw their hats in the ring, the more difficult it gets to consolidate around any one candidate.

Then there is the orange octopus in the room — that being Donald Trump. In true creeper fashion. Trump is inexplicably trying to smash the hopes and dreams of Tom Emmer of Minnesota one of the front runners.

Reports are Trump is trying to put an end to Emmer’s Speaker candidacy. Who knows why? It could be pure malice, a love of drama, anger over Gym not winning, not enough Big Macs or chicken nuggets this week, leading to a spike in bizarre behavior — anything’s possible.

Then, there is the fact that the House appears to be paralyzed. CNN reports that divisions are growing, not receding. They say: “Frustrations and divisions have only intensified.”

Then there is the most important reason, the crown jewel of reasons. This reason is that the GOP members hate each other. In the past few days, we’ve seen that many a GOP House member has firmly embraced their childhoods, going back to the days of childhood bullying and playground fights.

So, as you can see, there is a plethora of reasons behind my prediction. We’ll see if it comes true. I hope it doesn’t. Israel, Ukraine, and the American people need us. But Republicans appear a long way out to sea, and instead of paddling toward shore, they just seem to be letting the waves pull them further out.