Lord of the flies

The scene was Adel Iowa. The speaker was called Assolini. The subject matter flew. I mean that most sincerely. This is not a metaphor. The subject on Donald Trump’s mind, the biggest issue of this Iowa speech, was — flies?

The answer to that question yes, it was. Donald Trump stood there, orangeness a lit with grievance, but this grievance was not for Jack Smith. It wasn’t for Alvin Bragg. Ir wasn’t even for Judge Chutkan. No, the object of Trump’s grievance were little things that fly. You know them well. One of them took a liking to Mike Pence during his debate so many moons ago.

Flies. There was a whole big lot of inquisitive little flies. And they refused to leave Assolini alone.

“I didn’t know you had flies in Iowa,” Assolini sang out, in what had to be one of the dumbest comments of his life (I’d say THE dumbest, but there’s so much competition in that regard I really cannot say THAT.)

BUZZZ…. The traitor began waving his hands wildly in front of his face, mumbling and grunting as the little flies moved in as if to take a big bite of his royal insurrectionist.

“I hate flies!!” These words came from Trump, who did not appear to have a fly swatter on hand, so he merely used his fingers and little hands. The audience actually cracked up, and I don’t mean psychologically.

They laughed. They chuckled. They watched Trump struggle to get the flies to leave him the hell alone. Then Trump started to worry he’d get in trouble big because perhaps his comments were cruel to animals.

The flies continued circling. It was sort of like the film ‘The Birds” but with flies instead of birds. Then Trump began to reminisce about the good old days — which for him was “the other day.”

He claims he was at a beautiful place, but that place had so many flies! Flies were everywhere, he said. “I said get fly paper.”

Yes, folks, this man was once President. I’m so sorry. “Sir, they’re not allowed to sell it anymore(Flypaper.)” On the plus side, at least Trump did not muse about the flies eating him. There is that, I suppose.

I am guessing, as are many, that the story Trump told about the flypaper was made up. And where was this beautiful place he was at? Could he have meant one of the places he’d turned himself in? Anything is possible where Trump’s concerned. It would be so very nice if he flew away with the flies. But the next best thing is prison.