I can ordinarily summon pity for even the most abominable scoundrel or abhorrent criminal brought to his most wretched state. But for Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson I have none. The man who made millions of dollars by cynically radicalising millions of people with lies inspires no compassion in me. I’m glad he was ignominiously fired from the loftiest position at Fox News and hurled, metaphorically speaking — SPLAT! — right into the filthy mud. And I hope it hurts. I hope it hurts badly.
Fired, do I say? Yes, fired. All you have to do is watch the final moments of his final show on Friday, where he sits eating pizza, laughing and joking and extolling his viewers to “have the best weekend — and we’ll be back on Monday,” to know that he was fired.
Those were not the words and that was not the smile of a man who decided to enter into an “understanding” with his employer and leave the network. Those were the words and smiles of a man who really thought he’d be back on Monday.
Tucker Carlson gets no final show, no final chance to say goodbye to his millions of viewers. He was blindsided. He was summarily fired, laid off, terminated, sacked, discharged, let go, tossed out on his ear and shitcanned by billionaire Rupert Murdoch. Tucker was fired, not for disseminating democracy-destroying rhetoric, not for whipping millions of people into frenzies of bigotry-fuelled hatred, not for lying but for getting caught lying. And he’s gone, gone, gone — just like that lovin’ feeling.
But the news gets better. Firing Tucker the fornicator hurt Fox News horribly. Recall that Fox already lost a whopping $787.5 million in a devastating lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems that obliterated one third of the network’s profits for the year. Now Fox has lost an additional $962 million in market value by handing Carlson the sack. What’s more, the embattled network still faces a string of lawsuits that should make this loss look like a proverbial walk in the park.
So Tuckems is gone and I couldn’t be happier. Fox has been mortally wounded and I couldn’t be happier. That bastard and that bastard network that survived vampire-like for decades by feeding on the hatred and resentment and animosity that they themselves created finally must suffer for it. They are finally brought to justice. And I am delighted. I am having my own quiet schadenfreude party.
Won’t you join me in celebration, brothers and sisters? Hundreds of people at the evil empire that was Fox News, formerly a mighty network, are suffering right now for the lies they told, for the hate they inspired, for the harm they have caused our planet and our people. And they are finally at last getting what they deserve. Let us be happy! Let us rejoice! And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.