If it weren’t widely documented that Felix Sater is a real person, one could easily mistake his life story for that of a cartoon villain created by a writer who’d spent a little too much time at the punch bowl. Sater was busted for laundering money for the Russian mafia. He was also busted for stabbing a man in the face with a glass. Then he became a government informant. Then he partnered with Donald Trump on a money laundering front called Trump Soho. Now his story has taken yet another surreal turn.
Even as most of Donald Trump’s associates and former underlings have decided not to testify before the House until the courts inevitably rule that they must testify, Felix Sater went ahead and agreed to show up and testify now. The trouble: he didn’t show up as scheduled yesterday. When he had to explain himself, he claimed that it was because he’d overslept. Because of course he did.
For all we know, perhaps Sater’s sob story about feeling ill and oversleeping might be true. But this is the kind of guy who lost the benefit of the doubt a long time ago. Did he get nervous? Did Trump get to him at the last minute? At least Sater gets credit for coming up with a novel excuse – sort of. This is, after all, the guy who once tried to disguise his identity by briefly changing his name from “Felix Sater” to “Felix Satter.” We’re not making that up.
For his efforts, Felix Sater – or Felix Satter, or whatever his name is now – earned himself a subpoena requiring him to show up and testify. He says that yes, of course he’ll show up next time, and the subpoena wasn’t necessary. Perhaps the House Intel Committee should have skipped the subpoena and sent him an alarm clock.
Bill Palmer is the publisher of the political news outlet Palmer Report