Donald Trump launches into bizarre executive time meltdown

Donald Trump is, by any available measure, the laziest person to ever occupy the Oval Office. He goes on vacation constantly. His own internal schedule reveals that he does virtually no work when he is in the White House. His Twitter posts reveal that he spends most of his day watching cable news and raging about it. Now Trump is going off the deep end about the whole thing.

Trump’s recently leaked schedule reveals that he spends roughly 60% of his “workday” on what his handlers call Executive Time, which we all know is a euphemism for not working. So now Trump is trying to change the definition of the phrase, and naturally he’s claiming that he’s the best at making use of his time.

Trump posted this bizarre meltdown: “The media was able to get my work schedule, something very easy to do, but it should have been reported as a positive, not negative. When the term Executive Time is used, I am generally working, not relaxing. In fact, I probably work more hours than almost any past President.” He then went on to list a number of comically phony reasons about why America was a disaster when he took over, and he’s since worked hard to magically fix it all.

Of course by vomiting out this rant, Donald Trump is unwittingly ensuring that he’ll get yet another news cycle about how lazy he is. Because Trump is so cut off from real news sources, he tends to only learn about these kinds of narratives several days after they’ve come and gone, and then his belated outbursts end up making it worse for him.