Sacked and disgraced Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson is pushing a brand new conspiracy theory. Carlson claims that Donald Trump is the target of an assassination plot. He alleges (but probably doesn’t actually believe) that the United States is “speeding toward” the former president’s assassination — an evidence-free assertion amplified by other reactionary media wingnuts.
This is an obvious cynical ploy by Carlson that does nevertheless have its Machiavellian merits. It’s pure attention-getting theatre, intended as a strawman created to vilify the left. Carlson enjoys creating fantasy worlds in which “woke” liberals are supervillains.
But Carlson’s latest conspiracy theory falls flat in several ways. While it’s true that Trump is arguably the most hated man on earth, these days he’s in so much legal peril and is so desperately unhappy that almost nobody who hates him wants to see him die. We want him alive and alert for his just desserts. Long life to him, I say. The longer he lives in prison, the more justice is served.
Carlson, who hosts his interviews on Twitter (I refuse to refer to it as “X”), first asserted this conspiracy theory during his interview with Trump last month. He asked the twice-impeached, four times indicted rapist if he was concerned about attempts on his life. Trump largely ignored the question, failing for once to see the self-promoting, sympathy-grabbing merits of such a claim.
Fox News host Dan Bongino, who actually cited Carlson as a credible source(!), said the Democratic party wants Trump dead because “they cannot have this guy in the White House.” Don’t worry, Dan, he won’t be.
Anyway, this is a new one for me. A conspiracy theory about something that hasn’t happened yet. I suppose it was going to be mooted sooner or later, given the unhinged nature of conspiracy theories in general.
But I’ll go them one better. After all, a conspiracy theory about something that hasn’t happened yet is fair game for speculation, yes? Maybe the people who hate Trump the most are hiding in plain sight. After all, Carlson was quoted as texting “I hate [Trump] passionately.” Maybe Tuckums himself is the assassin! It would make for an interesting (albeit cracked) conspiracy theory in and of itself.
But seriously, there is no plot to murder Trump. It should be clear to everyone with a brain that all the pond scum crazies with guns are MAGA lunatics, not leftwing progressives, and the nutjob Trump cultists love their lord and saviour.
For someone who is universally despised, Trump is probably one of the most physically safe men on earth. He’s guarded by drooling fanatics on the one hand and uplifted by millions of people who want to see him survive and live a long, miserable life in prison on the other. Don’t worry, Donald, you’re as secure as can be. And, as ever , ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.