Dull as dishwater


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Allow me to speak about a delightful fable that’s been around for years. This fable is that when a new baby is born, fairies gather together. They exclaim and admire the child. And then they then decide what glowing qualities to gift the new child with.

For example, some babies maybe undeniably beautiful due to the fairy’s touch. Others are given creativity, wisdom, kindness, and empathy. And sometimes, a baby gets a huge amount of magical gifts. And they grow up to be legends.

However, the opposite can also happen. Perhaps the fairies are in a bad mood one day. And they just do not feel like handing out many gifts. So the child would grow up bereft of intelligence or empathy, or brilliance.

Ron DeSantis definitely caught the fairies in a bad mood. Think of one positive quality the Florida governor has. Because I’ve tried, and my brain has come up empty every single time. And it looks like I’m not the only one.

The Brits are warm, witty, and fun. I have several British friends. Their sense of humor is usually quite strong. Only it wasn’t so strong this week. This week many Brits appeared morose. Now why do you suppose that is?

“Horrendous!”

“Bored.”

He “stared at his feet.”

“low wattage.”

“wasn’t presidential.”

“Looked spent.”

These are the comments of many a British Business Chief upon meeting Ron DeSantis. Yes, apparently, DeSantis had been in London, the newest stop in his ever-encompassing bid to make a fool of himself.

And Ronny DID meet many a British Business leader. And he proceeded to bore the ever-loving crap out of almost ALL of them. He met with many a British titan– eager to impress, to bring HIS version of fascism to London and see what the Brits thought.

“His message wasn’t presidential. He was horrendous.”

“Nobody in the room was left thinking this man’s going places.”

Aw, Ronny. I guess rather than making a splash, you sort of made a drip — a very boring one. And what’s with reports that you stared at your feet? That isn’t very presidential, Ronny. People have EYES — sometimes very nice ones — and you should always look someone in the eye when speaking.

But it looks like the people-hating Governor just could not do it. He seemed quite a bit more interested in his feet than the eyes of strangers. That’s taking putting your foot in your mouth to new extremes.

So yes, Ronny’s visit to London was a big failure. It would appear that Ron was not blessed with such gifts as cleverness or charisma or even just a mere hint of wisdom. Being dull as dishwater, however, is ONE gift he received in spades.

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