Donald Trump just got hit by a sharknado
Why is Donald Trump talking about being eaten alive by a shark? Has he fallen THAT far where his favorite topic of conversation is — Jaws?
The answer to that question is yes, he has. And Trump, speaking in Iowa, mused for a relatively long period about getting stuck out at sea with — Jaws.
The story started with a lonely orange Trump on a lonely, likely NOT orange boat a battery-operated one. Trump did not stop there. Proving that he had sharks on his brain, he proceeded to go into meticulous and agonizing detail about his time aboard the lone boat.
I’d say Trump was influenced by “Moby Dick,” but then again — Trump doesn’t read. He’s probably never even heard of a book called Moby Dick.
Anyway, sharks, not whales, were his story of choice. Trump then proceeded to wax poetic about whether he’d prefer to be eaten by his nemesis — the shark — or get electrocuted.
I must stop to quote the legendary Joan Rovers here: “What a little ray of sunshine he is!!”
Finally, Trump, having likely traumatized his audience with his stories of being eaten alive, made an announcement and it was an important one.
Trump declared electrocution had won out! And that in the event he had to choose between the two ways to go, he’d pick electrocution over being lunch-meat for the angry shark.
“I will take electrocution every time,” Trump cried with Shakespearean brilliance (just kidding.)
“Do we agree?” he demanded of his likely befuddled audience.
“I will take electrocution!”
So Donald Trump had spilled one of his deeply personal secrets — he’d rather be electrocuted than face sharknado. Who’d have thought?
In addition, Trump was slurring his words very, very badly. Perhaps he was in terror of a giant ferocious shark leaping onto the stage and eating him. Anything’s possible in Trump’s world.
