Donald Trump goes berserk about his canceled military parade

Last night we got word that Donald Trump’s military parade, which had been tentatively scheduled for November 10th of this year, has now been “postponed” to some undetermined date in 2019. Translation: it’ll never happen. Trump clearly wanted to waste the $92 million to hold the dictator-style parade, but after the American Legion stated its preference that the money be spent on veterans, Trump and his Department of Defense caved. Naturally, Trump isn’t exactly pleased about his latest failure.

This morning Trump posted this tweet: “The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it. When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it. Never let someone hold you up! I will instead…” We then had to wait thirteen minutes for him to finish his thought, as hopes swelled that he might finish it with “I will instead resign.” But no such luck.

Trump ultimately announced that he would instead “attend the big parade already scheduled at Andrews Air Force Base on a different date, & go to the Paris parade, celebrating the end of the War, on November 11th. Maybe we will do something next year in D.C. when the cost comes WAY DOWN. Now we can buy some more jet fighters!” Okay wait a minute, because there’s a lot of excrement to unpack here.

There’s already going to be a parade on an Air Force Base, so what was supposed to be the point of Donald Trump’s own personal military parade? If he’s admitting he can’t bring down the cost of the parade this year, why does he believe he’ll magically be able to bring down the cost next year? And why does he think anyone wants him in Paris? Most importantly, the American Legion rained on his parade because it wanted the money to go to veterans. So, as if to spite them, Trump says he’ll spend the money on fighter jets instead. What a lunatic.