The Real Traitors of Trump Tower

With each passing day, the Real Traitors of Trump Tower further cements its legacy as the worst reality show of all time, both because it’s so harmful to the real world, and because it’s just so painfully unrealistic. There was no better reminder of this than yesterday, when Stephen Miller – a character so cliched he could sink any fictional script – went on television to refute the notion that the President of the United States is a mentally ill moron, only to be escorted out of the studio by security guards. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

Miller, a white supremacist cartoon character with a forehead the size of Montana, went on CNN to defend Donald Trump after pretty much everyone else in the White House was quoted in a new book as saying that Trump is a crazed idiot. Trump had fired back by insisting that he was a “stable genius,” thus unwittingly confirming the premise of the book, and reminding us yet again that none of this can possibly be real. Miller acted so bizarrely during his interview that the host threw him off the air, and then Miller refused to leave the studio until security guards came to remove him, according to Axios. Perhaps Miller was acting so much more wankerish than usual by the end of it because he figured out that he just accidentally admitted his boss committed treason.

Stephen Miller was asked if Donald Trump was in Trump Tower while his son Donald Trump Jr – another unrealistically cocky and stupid character who could singlehandedly sink any fictional movie – was downstairs committing treason with the Russian government. Miller refused to answer the question, because this is an area in which you want to be as vague as possible. Any answer would have sufficed: “No, he wasn’t there.” “Yes, but he didn’t know about the meeting.” “I don’t know, because I’m just a coffee boy.” “The answer to your question is…oh wait, look over there, a butterfly.” “Help, I’m having an aneurysm.”

Anything would have worked, really, except refusing to answer the question at all. That was an admission that he couldn’t answer the question, because Donald Trump was indeed somehow involved with that Russian meeting. That means Trump committed treason too, because having a literal traitor in the Oval Office is just the plot point we all need. Oh, and the Los Angeles Times now says that those same Russian government representatives somehow met with Ivanka Trump in an elevator. Really? Secret elevator meetings now? The Real Traitors of Trump Tower simply isn’t realistic. Nothing is this cliched. No one is this stupid. People like this can’t possibly exist.

Bill Palmer is the publisher of the political news outlet Palmer Report