Devin Nunes, international stupid spy

Oh come on. This can’t be real. After Donald Trump got burned early last year by putting down too many chips on halfwit Congressman Devin Nunes, he’s now putting down all the rest of his chips on Nunes again. This movie is off the rails. Even bumbling cartoon villains like Trump don’t make mistakes this stupid, and characters as stupid as Nunes just aren’t believable.

I’m running out of words here. I don’t mean that I’m speechless, though I feel like I probably should be by now. I mean that I’ve run out of words to describe what’s going on here. Carter Page was an idiot. A blithering idiot. An unrealistically idiotic idiot. You see the problem here, right? Page alone exhausts the English language. Now we’ve got Devin Nunes back in the spotlight. This guy wrote the dumbest memo of all time because he thought it would get him and Trump off the hook. Then when everyone involved told him it was bad, he secretly changed the memo – and promptly got caught.

If this were a fictional spy novel, you’d have either thrown it in the trash by now, or you’d have decided to finish it strictly to see how over the top and stupid it gets. This whole Trump-Russia-Nunes saga is the kind of serious action thriller that’s done so poorly, so absurdly, it’s unintentionally funny – except you can’t laugh at it, because this is somehow real life.

By the time this unimaginably treasonous criminal scandal is all over, we’re certainly going to need new laws, and perhaps new Constitutional amendments, to keep it from ever happening again. But because this scandal is the most unrealistic and stupid thing we’ve ever been forced to sit through, we might need to begin inventing new words to describe what we’re seeing. Flargh.

Bill Palmer is the publisher of the political news outlet Palmer Report