Is this guy for real?

Donald Trump has floated so many different lies when it comes to Michael Cohen’s payoff to Stormy Daniels, it’s been difficult to keep track of them all. Even as the mainstream media continues to largely use euphemisms like “changed his position” for fear of calling Trump a liar, it’s become clear that Trump has no idea how to spin any of this. In fact this sounds like something out of a… uh… um… hang on, we’re searching for a suitable analogy.

Best we can piece it together, this is Donald Trump’s current official position on the matter: he made $460,000 in payments in order to repay a debt of $130,000, and he had no idea what the money was even for, and he wasn’t even aware he was paying it. This explains how Trump managed to go bankrupt six times. The punchlines write themselves. But it just doesn’t add up, and I’m not even talking about the faulty numbers, or the obvious lies.

What doesn’t add up here is that someone like this can exist in the real world. If you wrote a screenplay, and your villain was someone like Donald Trump, every movie studio on earth would reject you for having created a villain who was far too unrealistic. This shouldn’t be possible. This guy has a lie for every occasion. He’s proven himself to be stupid and incompetent at everything he’s ever tried in life, with the singular exception of being able to shamelessly craft a new set of lies every day to explain away the fact that he’s so stupid and incompetent.

There are plenty of people on this planet who only have one skill. But when it comes to Donald Trump, his one and only skill is lying. He’s finally met his match because for most of his life, he made a point of only interfacing with the kind of wide eyed suckers who are prone to believe convenient lies. Politics is a different story, because it’s exposed his brand of bullshit to the entirety of the American people, and most of them aren’t buying it. But even as Trump circles the drain and inches closer to prison, we still have to ask if this guy is even for real. Even fiction isn’t this strange.

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