What Donald Trump is really trying to do to Canada
It’s happened to me often enough, living in England now for 22 years, that I have come to think of it as “a thing.” Perhaps a dozen times over the years I have met an English person for the first time and they asked me, based on my accent, “Are you Canadian?” I always know what’s coming next. “No,” I say, with weary anticipation, “I’m an American.” Then they unnecessarily add what I’m sure they mistake for cleverness, “I thought so. But I was afraid if I asked you if you were American and you turned out to be Canadian you’d be REALLY insulted.”
I know what they mean. I once (and it only took once) asked a Canadian if she was American and she actually WAS really insulted. But she had the good grace to temper her offence when she found out I was American. Since that time it has occurred to me to ask if the person in question is North American. That way no one is going to be offended.
But the offence is real, and is an unsavoury part of a hamfisted and nearly unconscious targeted xenophobia. I’ve always wondered why people believe that the part of the planet you were born on has anything to do with your individual character. It’s as nonsensical as astrology. Anyway, I haven’t had a chance to take it for a spin lately, thank goodness, but I am sure Canadians are more hostile to Americans than ever.
For example, somewhere in a liquor store in Canada there’s a sign advertising “American whiskey.” Next to it is a larger sign, placed there by the store owners, “BUY CANADIAN INSTEAD.” These days in Canada, America is less popular than scurvy.
I can’t say as I entirely blame them. Donald Trump’s recent fixation with absorbing Canada is also “a thing,” according to outgoing Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau. Trudeau recently told business leaders that the US president wants access to his northern neighbour’s vast supply of critical minerals. Canada means money to Trump, and any time Trump gets around money, from a shady real estate deal, or leftovers from his inaugural fund, or housing for the Secret Service in one of his shitty golf motels, or contributions to a children’s cancer charity, it has a funny habit of finding its way into Trump’s pocket. In other words, Trump probably wants to plunder Canada for his own enrichment.
At least, that’s what former lawyer and Trump “fixer” Michael Cohen believes. Cohen will be the first to tell you that he’s known Trump longer and better than anyone else. He could be right. Cohen knew Trump as a confidant longer than most of his wives, and he spent far more time with him than any of his children. Cohen says he has no doubt that Trump intends to take Canada by force or economic pressure.
Trump has continued to mock Canadian sovereignty every chance he gets, repeating his description of the country as the “51st state” on social media and in speeches. He has also repeatedly referred to Trudea as “governor” instead of prime minister. Canada is one of Trump’s shiny objects, and this unbelievably paranoid, chickenshit, vindictive little man is shameless when giving voice to what he wants.
To their infinite credit, Canada will have none of it. In Quebec the number of people calling for a referendum on the province’s secession has declined sharply in recent weeks. Between December and February, people in Quebec who said they were “proud” to be Canadian increased 13 points from 45% to 58%, according to an Angus Reid poll.
Canada’s trade minister, Anita Anand, recently declared there would be “no messing” with the border. “Canada is free. Canada is sovereign,” the Canadian employment minister, Steven MacKinnon, told reporters. “Canada will choose its own destiny, thank you very much.” Oy Canada! I’m on your side! Trump and his cabal of imperialistic goons can take a flying F at a rolling donut!
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.