This is not easy for me to say, but…
If my time covering politics has taught me one thing, it’s that the truth matters – or at least it should matter. So I’m going to take a risk here and open up to all of you about what’s really been going on with me since the election. It’s been a difficult time for everyone. There are a lot of people who have been struggling mightily – and I’m one of them.
After a decade of doing this for a living, I’ve become prone to what are known as anxiety attacks or panic attacks. These are often the subject of ridicule, but they’re very much a real diagnosis. You know that jolted feeling you get for a second or two after a loud noise catches you off guard? Imagine that same physical feeling lasting for minutes or hours, instead of fading within seconds. It’s often difficult to explain to others how the body can still be panicking long after the mind has gotten over something. But for some people, including me, it’s just how things go.
Fortunately there are very good medical treatments these days for anxiety attacks, which allowed me to continue working through the election cycle no matter how ugly things got. Unfortunately, they don’t make a medication for what happens to you when you spend a decade of your life trying to take down the worst person in the world, only for that person to instead become the most powerful person in the world. And so, after election night, anxiety attacks became a thing for me again. The number one trigger? Following politics.
And so, even though it’s more important than ever for people like me to stand up and do what I do, I’ve been struggling with it. As some of you have no doubt noticed, there have been a number of days where I could only write my morning column and nothing else that day. This was me, for lack of any other way of putting it, doing my best.
Over these past six months I’ve had to figure out how to overcome my anxiety attacks, how to cover politics without making them worse, and figure out what my role is in this rapidly shifting and more nightmarish than ever political landscape. And all of this just happened to coincide with the ongoing decline and recent passing of my Dad. As they say, when it rains it pours.
But here’s the thing: I’m ready. I can’t sit on the sidelines any longer, doing the minimum. I don’t want to do the minimum. I want to stand up and fight. I’m ready for the fight. And if this is the fight we’re stuck with, then I’m looking forward to doing as much winning as possible.
So I’m bringing Palmer Report back to life, so to speak. You’re going to get what you deserve, which means more articles from me, more timely coverage, and returning Palmer Report back to the influential fighting force that it needs to be in this crucial era.
I do need your help with jumpstarting things again. If there’s one time you can ever make a donation to Palmer Report, it would be right now. We’re making a comeback. We’re going to fight. We’re going to win some battles. And we’re going to make a difference. I believe in all of you, and I hope you still believe in me. Now let’s go do this.
Sincerely,
Bill Palmer
