The real truth about Elon Musk
Okay, we now know for sure what has long been rumored and explains a lot. Elon Musk, destroyer of American lives and jobs, was and remains a junkie. A drug addict. A messed-up dopehead. He is also a liar, a felon, an illegal alien, a fraudster, a hoaxer and a swindler.
He is, in fact, guilty of just about every bad thing Trump, after famously coming down the escalator at Trump Tower in 2015, absurdly accused all undocumented foreigners of being. Musk really is scum. We know this for a fact.
Undocumented foreigner , I say? Yep. Musk first came to the United States on a student visa. He immediately quit school, but he didn’t leave the US, thus breaking the law. That’s felony number one. Musk then further broke the law by becoming an undocumented worker. Felony number two. He then FURTHER broke the law by operating a business in the US without authorisation. Felony number three.
Considering that he violated the law pretty much as soon as he crossed the border, it could be proven to a jury that he intended to do so from the very beginning. He therefore lied on his visa application. By doing so he committed perjury on his application, felony number four.
When Musk finally applied for an H1-B visa so he could work in the US legally, he had to answer a question on his application about whether he had ever broken any US immigration laws. Had he answered truthfully, he would not have been given this visa. The fact that his application was approved demonstrates that he lied on his application. So he once again perjured himself. Felony number five.
Then Musk lied again on his application for a Green Card. Felony number six. Then he lied again when he applied for US citizenship. Felony number seven. I don’t know how many felonies his reported illegal use of ketamine, ecstasy and “magic mushrooms” constitute, but I am in the mood to be generous. Let’s just call that felony number 8.
Musk’s businesses are also engaged in dozens of highly classified contracts with the United States government. I don’t know how many felonies he had to commit to get clearance to do so, and my generosity is beginning to run out. So I’m just going to say “a lot” and leave it at that.
So yes, Elon Musk is an illegal immigrant — meaning, he immigrated to the United States using unlawful, fraudulent and irregular means. He’s reportedly addicted to and uses illegal drugs in shocking abundance. Anyone else with his antecedents would get a visit from ICE in the middle of the night and “disappeared.” No warning. No due process. No habeas corpus.
What’s the difference? I know, stupid question. Musk is white. Musk is rich. Therein, brothers and sisters, lies the beginning, the middle, and the end of the whole goddamn story.
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.