If you were someone who had been committing serious crimes for years and years, and you were finally being cornered, what would you focus your remaining time and energy on before you were arrested? You’d probably hire a good lawyer, spend most of your time working on your legal defense strategy, and make a point of not saying anything that can be used against you at trial.

If you’re Rudy Giuliani, you spent your little remaining time doing drunken interviews where you walk into walls and drool all over yourself while confessing to crimes. Then you tweet a photo of a terrible-looking Baby Jesus scene, complete with a ceramic golden retriever, while trying to make the argument that you and Jesus have both faced the same media blackout. If you’re Donald Trump, you hire Rudy Giuliani as your lawyer.

These two guys have no earthly idea what it is that they’re supposed to be doing right now in the hope of saving themselves. Rudy should be staying as far away from the media as possible, ahead of his arrest. Trump should be staying as far away from Rudy as possible, as he absolutely has to find a way to win in 2020 in order to avoid being arrested himself, and Rudy is the one who got him impeached to begin with.


Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani are in the process of destroying themselves. In the end, they’ll each land in solitary confinement for the rest of their lives. The tricky part is that America has to protect itself from the damage that these two idiots are doing on their way down. But the upside is that if America works hard and makes sure Trump loses in 2020, he’s guaranteed to go to prison forever.

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