Somebody get this zombie off the stage

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If this week has shown us anything, it’s that we don’t have a President of the United States. We haven’t had one for three years, of course. But until recently we had a scheming half-wit criminal for President. Now that things have really gone wrong, we have a lumbering half-dead zombie for President.

This guy can’t even sit behind a desk and act like he’s among the living for a few minutes while the cameras are pointed at him. Reading words off a screen is too big of a challenge for him. Americans are going to bounce him in November anyway. No one wants him in charge right now. Wall Street wants him off the stage. So it’s time. Mike Pence, if you’re listening, just go ahead and invoke the 25th Amendment. You’ll get to be President for a few months, and then you can just disappear.

Oh, so maybe Mike Pence isn’t up to it? Senate Republicans, it’s your turn. Announce that you’re willing to actually remove Trump this time, so Pelosi can impeach him again. Impeach him for mental incompetence if you want. Turning into a zombie is a totally nonpartisan issue. Just get rid of him. Half of you Senate Republicans are itching to run for President in Trump’s place in November anyway, at least those of you who aren’t still in quarantine by then.


It’s truly time for Donald Trump to leave the stage. He’s got a nice opportunity right now to cut a resignation deal in exchange for partial criminal immunity. Maybe his kids can talk him into taking it. Of course he’s been exposed to the coronavirus and he’s apparently refusing to get tested for it, so – in all morbid seriousness – the guy may not be around much longer anyway.

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