Poor Republicans. They keep losing their little imaginary friends. At least, that’s what Republican Representative James Comer of Kentucky told Maria Bartiromo of Fox News on Sunday, anyway. You see Comer has, er, misplaced his witness for the “Biden crime family” nontroversy. You know, the “scandal” that’s been failing to rock the nation for weeks now? Comer had only just seen the witness the previous night, around six o’clock. Did he check the guy’s office? Did he look under the couch, the cushions?
As you probably know, last Wednesday Comer, the chairman of the House Oversight Committee, held a much-hyped press conference in which he promised to expose the preliminary findings of four months’ worth of scrutiny into the Biden family’s business dealings. It was originally hyped as “Judgement Day” for President Joe Biden, when Republicans were, to borrow a phrase from the nearly-disbarred lawyer Sidney Powell, going to “release the kraken.”
The kraken in question was a press conference that ultimately proved impotently anticlimactic. It mostly consisted of Comer making shapeless, unsubstantiated accusations. In the end he failed to link the president to any of his relatives’ supposed “influence peddling.”
Compare and contrast Republican findings of alleged Biden “wrongdoings” with the findings of the United States House Select Committee on the January 6 Attack, or J6 Committee for short. The final report of the J6 Committee was a stunning compendium of facts, text messages, emails, dozens of credible witnesses and depositions that placed one man at the centre of the most appalling, traitorous, disgraceful act of treachery in the history of the United States. The J6 Committee proved beyond all doubt that the one man responsible for the insurrection was Donald Trump.
Any reasonable, sensible person who watched the hearings or read the final report had no choice but to conclude that the insurrection was an unlawful attempt to overthrow the United States government, and Donald Trump was its principal architect. Every network but Fox News, which refused to even air most of the proceedings, reported that the J6 Committee was a stunning success.
On the other hand, Comer’s House Oversight Committee report on the “Biden crime family” was an embarrassment, a joke, an obvious Republican stunt that blew up in Republican faces. On Sunday, Comer attempted to explain away the whole thing to Maria Bartiromo of Fox News: “Well, we’re hopeful that we can find the informant,” Comer said. “Remember, these informants are kind of in the spy business, so they don’t make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile or anything like that.”
What the hell does that mean? They are “kind of in the spy business”? “They don’t make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile”? Is he serious? This is a United States Congressman talking, folks. Even George Santos can lie better than that.
The Congressman then went on to uncork this masterpiece: “The nine of the ten people that we’ve identified that have very good knowledge with respect to the Bidens,” he said, “they’re one of three things, Maria, they’re either currently in court, they’re currently in jail, or they’re currently missing.”
Wait a minute. If they’re currently in court or currently in jail, then you should be able to locate them immediately. Doesn’t that kind of follow? In any case, if they’re currently in court or jail, does that mean they’re criminals? What are they doing in court or jail? The final excuse, they’re “missing,” what exactly does that mean? Has the Congressman filed a missing persons report with the police? Do their families know they’re “missing”?
In the end one could almost feel sorry for Comer. His pitiful attempt to destroy the President is laughable, childish, inept and obvious. This is what all conspiracy theories come to when they’re exposed to sunny daylight. The problem is that a lot of people are only going to remember that Biden was investigated by Congress. So the damage, though minimal, has been done among the slapdash, the distracted and the stupid. Unfortunately they also vote, so we must vote in greater numbers. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.
Robert Harrington is an American expat living in Britain. He is a portrait painter.