Ivanka Trump has a whole new problem

It seems Ivanka Trump has never met a corruption scandal she doesn’t like. No, we’re not talking about the fact that she spoke at one of her father’s white supremacist rallies last night, which was technically legal despite her status as a White House adviser, because she didn’t use her title. Instead we’re talking about something much further away from home, which actually hits much closer to home.

This summer, Ivanka Trump panicked and shut down her entire line of garbage clothing products, just as it was being widely reported that Special Counsel Robert Mueller and the state of New York were preparing to rip through every corrupt inch of the Trump family business. Now it turns out that, predictably, she didn’t really shut everything down.

China has just granted a whole slew of new trademarks to Ivanka Trump. She applied for them back in 2016, and now that she’s conveniently the daughter of the “President” of the United States, China is dutifully granting all of them. After all, what better way to butter up her corrupt and easily manipulated flaming barfbag of a father? Most of the trademarks are for clothing items, meaning she isn’t really planning to keep her knockoff junk off the market forever.

But some of the trademarks are for rather weird products and services like nursing homes, sausage casing, and voting machines. Wait, voting machines? Yes, really. In other words, the 2016 version of Ivanka Trump was under the delusion that she might someday be able to corner the market on voting machines. The 2018 version of Ivanka never did bother to cancel those trademark applications, because she’s still hoping to maybe someday be back in business. The 2019 version of Ivanka will be indicted and arrested, if voters turn out today.

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