Hey Donald Trump, where’s the beef?
You know what, dear friends and readers? This weekend promises to be a HUGE travel day! And for the American people, there will be many cookouts and barbecues going on all over the country, as is often the case at this time of year.
Carefree and laughing Americans will do, as so many before them have done, grill-fests, and fun outdoors as they feast on — beef. Lots and lots of beef. But the sweet and unassuming American people, like innocent rabbits, will FEAST on their backyard burgers and hot dogs, unknowing that VERY soon they will be asking:
Where’s the beef? Well, it might not be in their GROCERY bags. Beef prices have started to skyrocket. Now, the Bureau of Labor Statistics is out with some new numbers. For one pound of that luscious beef that makes those delicious burgers sizzle, the average cost is — are you ready? $5.80.
Where’s the beef? Exploding that’s where! Beef prices are soaring past the trees and rocketing up into the sky as the the headlines shout out:
“Beef 50% higher than five years ago!”
“Live cattle futures — up 22% from “this time last year.”
Where’s the beef? Getting MUCH more expensive.
A cattle analyst Lance Zimmerman says they don’t expect a reprieve.
“This is grilling season’ he says somberly.
You know the REASON for this, right? Right?
Donald Trump is the reason.
“Beef prices hitting record highs.”
This is the cost of doing business with a senile madman. I feel sorry for the American people. I do. But — but — MAGA! Oh no, MAGA!
MAGA will feel the brunt of this, too. All those MAGA grocery shoppers wandering around grocery isles, looking like lost and dazed Alice in Wonderlands, who followed the rabid white rabbit down the rabbit hole and into Dunder-land. Where’s the beef?
