Gaveling Marjorie Taylor Greene

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Think about all the movies, books, and television shows we’ve seen about monsters. Monsters like Frankenstein and Jason and The Thing and Dracula. And let’s not forget Medusa. But you know what, friends and readers?

None of them scared me as much as the monster we witnessed the other day. Yes, there was a real live monster in the House. And said monster came equipped with an unearthly demeanor, a fearsome psyche, and a voice filled with menace.

Readers, I present you with the scariest monster yet — Monster (and temporary House Speaker) of the House of Representatives, Marjorie Taylor Greene. And she is brought to us by Kevin McCarthy, who is continuing his string of moronic moves. He appointed Glow-worm Greene “Speaker Pro Tempore” which basically means she filled in for him.

Yep. Marjorie got the speaker’s gavel for a bit. All over the world, cries of horror were uttered. And a clip of the monster in the House went viral, causing exclamations of horror, louder, I am sure, than any shrieks Jason or Freddy Krueger caused.

“Shameful!” Millions of Twitter users tweeted. “Wha — what’s going on?” whispered another Twitter user. “Disgusting!” said many. “Folks better vote like their lives depend on it,” said another person.

All over astonished tweets were sent asking two questions. Was this monster in the House of Representatives a mirage, or had idiot Kevin REALLY truly done this? And the second question wasn’t really a question — it was more like a shriek of horror heard worldwide.

The image of Marjorie Taylor Greene with the Speaker’s gavel was undoubtedly at least as disturbing as Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I’d say it’s even worse.

After all, there are movie monsters, and then there are REAL monsters. And Greene definitely qualifies for the second. But then again, this IS Kevin McCarthy we’re talking about, and if there’s a bad decision to be made, one can rest assured Kevin will always come through to make it.

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