Donald Trump’s report card is out and it’s just brutal

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It would be a simply lovely thing, my friends, if Presidents were graded in the same way that children are. Think about it. Children go to school and get report cards on everything from mathematics, history, science, English, and even Gym! (Gym was this writer’s worst subject.)

How might this work? Well, I come bearing gifts! A report card for Donald John Trump- a lovely little report card in which we can look together at his most significant accomplishments so far! Are you with me?

So — let’s first look first at the overall ARC of the Donald and his taking action and getting things done! What has Trump DONE? What has he done for us lately?

Well — he played golf! Yes, Mr. Little Hands was seen with a golf ball. Hopefully, he didn’t cheat! There is no word on whether he won.

Late night Truth social meltdowns. An A!

Mr. Orange-wrap gets an A+ on THAT one! How lovely! I can hear the distinct chimes of joy saying that Mr. Trump has been inseparable from Truth Social. Of course that does nothing to help the American people.

Now — let us look at — hmmm — I KNOW! Immigration!

Raids have started, raids most people do not appear to be happy about! And Trump is busily trying to change the constitution! He wants to change the requirements for Birthright citizenship! The American people don’t seem impressed with THIS idea. So — sorrowfully, Mr. Trump, no honey here — only a significant fat F grade.

But surely his CABINET picks will get him an A! Right?

I hear that sigh, signaling — maybe not.

“Predator.” Caroline Kennedy described RFK Junior as a PREDATOR! So much courage it takes to do that! She gets an A!

But RFK Junior’s confirmation hearing did not go well! Oh NOO!

Pete Hegseth is in place doing — well — nothing THAT important. Perhaps Mr. Hegseth needs some time to dry out – NOT from alcohol; I would NEVER imply that Mr. Hegseth has reportedly taken an extraordinary interest in the bubbly in the past! How the Greek God of wine, Dionysus would have adored Hegseth!

Tulsi? Has anyone seen her? Regretfully, it appears I spoke carelessly. I’m so sorry! I said maybe Trump’s confirmations would earn him an A.

No — instead — it’s an F! An F for Mr. Trump on the confirmation process! Oh no. he IS racking up Fs faster than the speed of light, is he not? So, so sad, the wind whispers sorrowfully.

But wait! WAIT! Medicaid! The site’s back up! How’d it go down in the first place? Oh, no, oh no, oh shit. Our orange one is heading for a low overall grade indeed. Why, he might get a D!

Not a D, Not a D, the trees murmur sadly. The grade is in, and — it’s an F! Oh NO! Donald Trump has failed his few weeks in the presidency! How sad for the little ball of failure. He’s FLUNKED! Well — there’s always NEXT month.

This is the fight of our lives. Donald Trump and his unelected henchmen are actively trying to destroy our government, our democracy, and our way of life. We only have one choice, and that's to fight back as loudly and aggressively as possible.
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