Donald Trump controls billions of dollars in real estate assets, which has made it difficult for some folks out there to understand that he’s been flat broke for years. His debts appear to be larger than the value of his assets, which means he has a negative net worth. He barely has enough cash on hand to service his debt, which is why he’s always putting great effort into whatever small-time moneymaking scam he can get his hands on. This, of course, is difficult to prove because many of his loans remain hidden. But now we finally have our best evidence yet that Trump is flat broke.
I’ll give you that evidence in just five words: “God blesh the United Shesh.” Those were the final words of a speech that Trump gave on Wednesday, which saw him increasingly slurring his words as he went on. Some observers thought he was high on drugs or had suffered from a stroke. But if you watch closely, something was moving within his mouth. In fact his teeth appear to be moving. He must have some sort of dentures or false teeth, and they came loose during his speech. Here’s the thing: rich people don’t have dentures.
When wealthy people lose their teeth, they get implants. Sure, each implant might cost a couple thousand dollars, but if you’re a billionaire (or even a millionaire) you won’t miss the money. Dentures are for people who lose their teeth and can’t afford implants. And yet now we know that Donald Trump wears dentures. He’s a cheapskate, but he’s not that much of a cheapskate. The only possible explanation for Trump’s dentures is that he’s flat broke, and that he has been for several years.
This circles back to the widely held belief that Donald Trump went flat broke in the 2008 economic crash, he couldn’t find anyone in America to bail him out, and the Russians stepped in to turn him into a financial puppet. He’s clearly still broke, or he wouldn’t be relying on dentures as his teeth have failed. Apparently the Russians haven’t given him enough of an allowance to get new teeth.
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