Memo to Donald Trump: don’t come home

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So, Donald Trump, we’ve got to talk. You seem to be having fun on your current overseas trip to Asia, or at least you did until you launched into your spittle-filled Twitter rant about “haters and fools” and “short and fat” people. But aside from your meltdown today, it’s clear you think you’ve found some friends over on the other side of the world. You have no friends here in the United States.

So here’s a thought, Donald: don’t come home. Just stay over there awhile, or if you like, forever. You’re seventy-one years old, you’re suffering from rapid onset senility, you’re morbidly obese, your doctor is a quack, and you’re way too old to be using that much cocaine – so you’ll be dead of natural causes in a year or two anyway. Just stay in Asia. They love you over there anyway, right?

Actually, they don’t. Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe is merely tolerating you for the sake of diplomacy. Chinese President Xi Jinping is just buttering you up so he can take advantage of you economically. Everyone in South Korea clearly hates you. Russian President Vladimir Putin thinks you’re a complete joke, which is why he turned you into a puppet. These people all hate you every bit as much as mainstream Americans hate you. Your only remaining supporters in the United States are the bottom-feeding white trash, and they’re not large enough in number to prop you up forever.

If you come home at the end of this overseas trip, Donald Trump, you’re eventually going to end up impeached, removed from office, put on trial, and thrown in prison for the rest of your life. Why bother? Just resign now, stay over there, and hang out in Russia. Take a tour of Siberia. Do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor, and just don’t come home.

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