The courts put Donald Trump in his place on child cages


Once again, our pesky judicial system has had to step in and crush our little dictator’s dream of social destruction. Yes, I’m talking about Donald Trump’s insane idea to separate families at the border in the vain hope of scaring the shit out of already-desperate refugees, thereby potentially deterring future families from immigrating to the United States. The border policy had, until now, long upheld the rule that mothers must be kept with their children. Crazy, I know, but turns out we Americans haven’t always been total jerks after all. But Trump said enough with all this mollycoddling of toddlers at the border.

However, the narcissist in Trump may have saved the day for us, as the world now hates him even more than before – so he reversed his decision with an executive order. Therefore, it raises the question, now that the evil impulse has been squashed, how are we going to reunify the families? Trump says ahh, forget the Flores Settlement of 1997 which states children must be released within twenty days. He has petitioned the court to extend that length of time, but it is unlikely the courts will do so, because unlike Trump, the courts care about the wellbeing of children.


Two court rulings were handed down last week in response to the mess Trump created by separating refugee families. The first, by a federal judge in San Diego, that ordered the Administration to stop separating families at the border and to return children to parents within the next thirty days. The ACLU also sued the Trump administration on behalf of all the parents who have been separated from their children. In response to that suit, the judge in that case also issued an emergency injunction ordering that all families be reunited within thirty days, and that children under the age of five be reunited within fourteen days, and that all parents be allowed to speak to their children on the phone within ten days. Trump could appeal with the Ninth Circuit or he could try to detain families, together, indefinitely.


What’s next, Donald Trump? “Immigration Reform Camps” and “Refugee Assimilation Camps?” If only it weren’t for that darn Flores Settlement, which doesn’t allow for torturing kids with imprisonment for more than twenty days. I’m sure our creative leader and his minions are hot on the trail to cook up some new nefarious schemes involving family imprisonment. Let’s just be glad we still have a judicial branch to figuratively hit him over the head with, when needed.



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